VOICEMAILS, VOICE DATING, AND THE CREATIVE LIFE
Jul 16, 2026
LIFE OF A BOOKMAN
Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!
Three's a charm!?: I'm almost done with Jacqueline Harpman's, We Were Forbidden. I'm two novellas down, one to go, and it's very cool to see a author's distinctly different writing style across different stories. In the first novella, you can see how I Who Have Never Known Men, came to be, as if it's a trial run for what she'll expand upon there (except, now that I'm writing this I'm not even sure which came first!?). And in the second novella, it's autobiographical fiction during WWII, and I can feel the internals of the character in a way I couldn't in the first story. I love a genre change-up like this, so if you like short stories, this is a new one to get your hands on.
What I've been writing: Well, I had a really tough Monday, team. The agent that I found to one-time rep my Queen with no Court manuscript about volleyball icon Jackie Silva, changed her mind. I don't need to get into that tea (or anger, or me crying on a zoom to a woman I've met one other time because she backed out, or exhaustion for having burned the midnight oil for weeks on writing that ultimately wasn't necessary), but I will say that on weeks like these I do wonder why I try and write books, if the publishing system looks for a single reason to say no to those same books...and finds them every time. I believe this is what we call a crisis of creative faith!!
WOMEN’S STUDIES
What gets passed down becomes our history.
The History of Menus is a Menu of History
My favorite newsletter that comes through every few months is Pudding, which are visual essays. And this one did not disappoint. By when I was writing Daisy, one of the most fascinating parts of the research was reading original menus she and others in the household had created for big dinners. What they were eating made them so real, so human, so right here. This essay shows what we can learn from looking at NYC menus going back 150+ years. This one is FUN, a chef's kiss you might say, and i hope you enjoy it!!!
Ladies, we're entering our Cron Era. It's about time.
Menopause is having a moment, and Tressie McMillan Cottom argues that it's about damn time (agreed!) I'm always quick to read Tressie's work because she brings a really interesting cultural take on the subjects she covers. I spent some time researching this topic earlier in the year, and it does seem crazy, SO crazy, that this experience all women go through is an experience all women do not get solutions for.
Gimme. Everyone assumes I'm a height whore when it comes to dating (because I'm v tall). But it's actually not true!! I am however, a voice whore. If your voice doesn't do it for me, I'm out. I don't care if you're 6'6. I don't care if you're a smoke show. I don't care if you're rich, not if your voice is _________. And this fill in the blank is important because I can't actually tell you what it it is? Is it velvety? Is it confident? Whatever it is, sometimes it either just resonates with me, or it doesn't. So to the Hinge cofounder trying a new start up a new way to get people dating...I'm in??
OMG this movie on Netflix had me weeping. Like, I cried the entire movie! The plot is so cute, which is that guy with a new number is getting voicemails that are not for him. And romance ensues!!!! I adored it, for it's watchable plot, it's randomly funny writing, it's sweetness. It was a good one to get a little bit wine drunk unpacking boxes, and trying not to cut myself with a box cutter as I wiped my face. Oh and the scenes from San Francisco!!!!!! Love a movie based in my town.
Other stray links: This instagram reel made me LOL about the difference between dating 6'2 and 6'4 (soooo funny), and this post about spending money on getting books sold and it not having the return expected (good for anyone marketing a book soon!). And this read from Stylist and Cosimo Store Owner Emily Lacey, about the BS she's been put through by meta. It's THE WORST, but her store opens today and we are so proud of her resilience!
PASS IT ON
Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine:
I was up past my bedtime, upset about rejection, and did the thing I do, write. So, here's that, about what it takes to live with creativity as the through-line:
You speak of a creative life like it’s something of ease.
But a creative life is not gentle. It’s not gentle on your heart and it’s sure as fuck not gentle on your spirit. It will demand of you, demand conviction and demand endurance and demand more. Without a single gd guarantee.
It will give you some other things though. This creative life you’re dreaming of. It’ll give you rejection. And not like micro dose of your best friend’s mushroom chocolates on a dancefloor in Aspen. But an entire disorienting accidental trip at a Andrea Bocelli concert, losing the future you believed you could make by making the thing you loved.
A creative life will put you face to face with rejection so many times you will wonder if you’re looking at rejection or if you’re looking at yourself. And let it be said, that reflection is so not cute no matter how good your hair looks that day.
A creative life will break your heart over and over and over and over again. And weirdly, on the eleventh time, you’ll ask why you’re still crying.
So be sure you want it, this creative life.
Bc my god is a creative life worth wanting. Everything it asks and demands and punches back with is worth it. because it has to be, because creating is the way you touch God and find her in yourself. It’s the expression of every bit of you, the parts you fear, the parts you hope for, the parts you reject, the parts that make you yearn, that parts that mystify you, that experience love.
If you chose to make a creative life, know the creating will make you. The creations will emerge from the woman, and the woman will emerge from the creations.
Create wisely,
Woman on xoxo
