MONEY, OLD SPERM, AND PAST SELVES

LIFE OF A BOOKMAN

Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!

Do I even read? I've read zero new books since I last wrote to you... which is completely and utterly not like me. I have read my old journals (wild!). I have read more of my friend's beta novel (so good). I have read other people's book proposals (an honor). I have read my own writing (oof). I have read important life contracts (ok!!) But I have not devoured a book. Sometimes my brain does this, which I share to say that if you're in a book-reading lull, the cycles happen. They mean nothing. We just gotta find the one that pulls us back in...and I think think think I have the perfect choice. More on that next week!

What I'm writing: Evangeline has captivated so many of you that I'm fielding a lot of “When will it be finished” questions. I'm only about 40% of the way there, but I'm so so delighted by this story's unfolding...and the unfolding of my own that needed to happen in order to write her. It may sound strange, but in order to write forward, sometimes I have to find the capacity in my own understanding of the character and her perspective, via life, in order to work forward. Daisy was the same...there was so much about her heartbreak and resilience and community of support that required me to tap into that in my own life to really anchor in her internals. But 2025 will be the year a really shitty full first draft of Evangeline is on the page, of that I promise you (and I promise myself).

WOMEN’S STUDIES

What gets passed down becomes our history.

When the past shows up in your relationships. This is a brilliant podcast episode from Sarah Baldwin, but really the whole show You Make Sense is worth listening to. I spent two hours last week talking my BFFs ear off on how somatic experiencing has transformed every aspect of my life, thanks to my ever amazing practitioner Celine Levy. Somatic therapy works through the body and nervous system whereas talk therapy works primarily through verbal processing and insight. Listening to any of Sarah's episodes will give you a flavor of that difference.

Women's eggs don't accumulate as many mutations with age as we thought. We always hear about “women's eggs getting old” when speaking about women's fertility (to which I always respond...YA WELL MEN'S SPERM IS GETTING OLD TOO). But now we have new proof that our eggs may stay 'fresh' well into our aging process. Whereas the rest of our body cells age and develop mitochondrial mutations, these same mutations don't show up in our eggs, suggesting our eggs may have evolved a mechanism to avoid this!! Why am I not surprised :)

Do not let anything stop you from making art. From the internet's favorite Fiancee, Taylor Swift. This one doesn't need a voiceover from me. Just give it a watch.

Other stray links: How Disney is not affordable for the families it purports to exist for (honestly this piece pissed me off and I'm not even a Disney person!!)...Why last week was a great week for women to be on dating apps (truly never laughed harder at a reel??)...and how to answer the question, Are you high-maintenance? (Tracee Ellis Ross delivers GOLD).

PASS IT ON

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine:

Over the last few weeks, I've been having a lot of conversations about M-O-N-E-Y. Money money money. There's a big reason for that (which I'll share in coming months), but there's also just the energetics of a season of change and wanting to better understand my relationship to money...the identity money takes on in my life...what shows up in my system when the topic arises with others...and what it looks like to decouple “over striving” and “working my ass off” with wealth building. I don't have helpful insights to share LOLOLOL because I'm definitely in discovery mode myself. One journaling exercise that's been really interesting is the following: When I think about money, the first memory that comes up is_____. This memory taught me that money means_________. And today I still act as if that's true by_______.

If this topic is hitting you somewhere you're already at, these are some of my favorite resources around this topic of abundance, receiving, wealth, and understanding feelings of scarcity:

> The Soul of Money: Transforming your Relationship with Money and Life by Lynn Twist

> A Nervous System Approach to Trauma & Finances with Sarah Baldwin

Woman on xx