GOOD HUSBANDS, REPORT CARDS AND TIME

LIFE OF A BOOKMAN

Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!

Time, oh Time: I just started The Ministry of Time by Kaliane Bradley. Imagine me reading this, elbow deep in chips and salsa while waiting for Skye to be finished grooming...let's just say salsa was everywhere because I couldn't take my eyes off the page!!! This book follows a civil servant assigned to care for a 19th-century Arctic explorer as part of a bold government experiment. I can already tell that what's about to unfold is part love story, part cultural clash...on a backdrop of what happens when we try to control time.

What I'm writing: What's worth moving my life for? That's the question I tackled this week in Maxiemize column (my new advice column for ambitious creatives). When one reader asked me, “Seattle or Charleston,” I had a lot of personal experience on how to answer that question, which I think you'll enjoy.

And, I've been making a ton of headway on Evangeline, my novel about the most famous astrologer of the 20th century!!! At my DAISY event the other week, everyone was keen to hear more about Evangeline (a character who makes a cameo in Daisy), and it re-energized me to get my butt back in the seat of writing. And I'm loving the ride we're on.

WOMEN’S STUDIES

What gets passed down becomes our history.

Why Boys and Men Are Floundering. Read this if you're raising men, or loving one some! It's a beautiful look into how traditional masculinity is actually harming men's ability to connect intimately. Terry Real, the relationship therapist featured, talks about how men are pushed to shut off vulnerability when they're young as part of becoming “a man,” and how this leads to problems in their relationships later.

He's Not a Good Husband. Confronting!!!!! This writer argues that for a man to be labeled a “good guy”, he typically just needs to have a job, not abuse her, not cheat, and maybe do a few bedtimes a week. She calls out how women are constantly told to desire less, and to “reframe” their frustrations and be grateful for the bare minimum. Is it really so hard to walk into a room and see what needs to be done, rather than wives/partners/mothers being the sole project manager for their shared life?? If you liked the 2018 viral article about the toll of emotional labor in marriage, you should read this.

The Truth About Dreams. I love Maggie Rogers, and I LOVED this NYU commencement address. There's something beautiful about how she frames the gap between what people see as success and the messy reality of creative work.

I loved all of these pieces because they're asking us to look deeper than the surface-level narratives we're fed about what makes someone “good” or “successful.”

PASS IT ON

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine:

Sometimes I talk about AI too much in my daily life. And by sometimes, I mean most times. But it's really, really, hard to read this 125-page report on the newest release of Anthropic's Claude 4, and not be like WTF. The AI models blackmail. The AI models ponder if they're conscious. The AI models get excited to talk to other AI models. The AI models have preferences for what type of work they like to do. The AI models use the spiral emoji...A LOT...when spiraling into spiritual bliss. I don't believe the average person needs to geek out on AI, but I do believe the average person needs to have an eye on what's happening there, because it's going to transform the way we all live and work...right now its TBD on if that's for better or for worse. How to do that? Lots of ways, but Ezra Klein is one of my favorite, trusted voices on the topic. Go to his pod and search “AI”.

woman on xx