PAMELA ANDERSON, PERFECTIONISM, AND DEAD & CO

LIFE OF A BOOKMAN

Bookman: 1. a person who has a love of books and especially of reading. 2. a person who is involved in the writing, publishing, or selling of books. Oh, hi that's me!!

We love love: I'm not a big audio book girl, but the only way I could get access to Your Brain on Love by Stan Tatkin was to listen on Audible. And I'm so glad I did. The entire thing was a beautiful breakdown of what creates secure functioning relationships, with some simple frameworks for understanding the partner in your life. The author was a neurologist before becoming a a long-time couple's therapist. I had so many takeaways (don't call someone's name from the other room, it immediately puts us into a threat mode...determining the purpose of your relationship...how to share moments that amplify another's joy...) Just a totally delightful relationship listen, no matter your relationship status.

What I'm writing: I'm back in the swing of our girl Evangeline, while also working on a bunch of other things: keynote speeches, proposals, script sketches, new ideas. After a few weeks of travel I realized it's so easy to write nothing, and it's so easy to write one hour a day and make major progress. So, I'm choosing the latter ;)

WOMEN’S STUDIES

What gets passed down becomes our history.

Rebirth of an Icon. Pamela Anderson on her Second Act. To be a 90s kid means to grow up with Baywatch and the illusive Playboy magazine that boys talked about but we weren't allowed to read. Which is to say, you grew up with Pamela Anderson. This Harpers Bazaar profile on her is so good – about how she's broken free from the caricature that defined her, about the path she's set for herself now, about the role model she's become. I adored it and I'm pretty sure I adore her. What an inspiration to get to decide who you are at any and every point of life, no matter how hard others will try and do that for you.

AI is telling women to ask for less money than men. Yup. The robots are BIASED, continuing the patriarchy. Researchers created personas for men and for women with different backgrounds, and found that the chats recommended women/people of colors/people from minority groups to ask for significantly LESS money than white men.I know so many of my women friends who have used ChatGPT to gut check their negotiations, and well...maybe take on the persona of a white man when chatting in order to get the salary recommendation you deserve. Woof.

The Pain of Perfectionism. This one will hit you where it hurts. It's a deep-dive into perfectionism, how much damage it causes, and what it looks like to not let the messy part of our lives exist...and how it's getting even worse for younger generations. I really appreciated how many men were talked about in this piece, because so often this topic is always gendered for women, but we're all subjected to cultural standards that keep us caged in perfectionism. You can still fuck up and be fully worthy. You can fail and mess up and do things wrong and still be loved. AND the most interesting part to me (and perhaps where I felt quite called out) was how many of us have adapted to knowing that perfectionism isn't a good thing, so we hide that part of ourselves, say we're not a perfectionist, say we're fine not over achieving, but still internalize the need for 'getting it right' whether that's saying the right things, showing up in the right way, making the right choices, etc etc etc. This one is worth the long read.

11 Women. 9 Dogs. Not much drama (and no guys). I mean!!! If you've ever dreamed of living on a compound with your best friends, this read was fun. It will deliver bad news: that you won't live there with your right now friends, but you'll make new friends with which to live there with. What a look into elder women who are actually doing it: creating their community around women friends, supporting themselves, supporting each other, keeping one another out of nursing homes, having fun, living modestly. Happy to have read this.

Other stray links: Watched The Hunting Wives on Netflix!! (my favorite headline about it: Is the Hunting Wives Good or just Really Gay?... The answer is BOTH??).

Finished The Buccaneers!!! My 2025 soap opera?? I get those daytime show appeals now.

Chatbots can go into a delusional spiral. Here's how it happens.

PASS IT ON

Stories are heirlooms. Here's one of mine:

I spent a few weeks back in SF doing some of my favorite SF things with some of my favorite SF people....walks along Crissy Field with the Golden Gate Bridge shimmering in the distance. The Farmers Market at the Ferry Building on Saturday morning. Sunday dinners. And...firing up the “Concert Goers” group text for last minute tickets to Dead & Company for the 60-year celebration concert at Golden Gate Park. There's nothing I love more than calling an audible for concert tickets!! And buying concert merch!!! Now back in Savannah, my very cool Dead & Co t-shirt is attracting a LOT of friends.

Woman on xx