Ever wonder if you're boring? Or is that just me…

“I’m bored.” Growing up, my three siblings and I knew better than to utter these two overly dramatic words during the summer. If we did, there was a long list of chores ahead of us. Because you know which kids aren’t bored? Ones busy washing dishes, putting socks together, and painting the grout with a toothbrush. So, we mostly kept our boredom to ourselves. 

Fast forward twenty-something years, and I remember thinking at one point…”Am I boring??” The hesitation resulted from being a little bit bored – with myself. Feeling like life was more one dimensional than I wanted it to be. 

Boring people are, ironically, quite interesting. They’re not always the person that we immediately think of, like the wet blanket you were seated next to at your college friend’s wedding. The one that made you want to poke your eyes out with the rented, brass salad fork. Cute, but my god, say something. Anything at all. Yes that boring person exists, but moreoften than not, terribly boring people go one of two ways. Either they’re so busy talking about empty topics with no real relevance that they haven’t even noticed you zoning out, wondering where the nearest glass of wine might be located. And/or they’re treating you like a singular audience member to the 1-act play of their life. 

Sure, the rich, famous, successful, and ambitious can be interesting, sometimes. In my experience the most fascinating people I’ve ever met don’t have an ounce of fame. No followers. Some of them don’t even have a dollar to their name. Instead, they’ve been weathered by life and still carry hope. More importantly, they’re wildly interesting…because they’re interested. 

Interesting people are curious people. Whether you spend five minutes of five days with them, they’ve asked you more questions in that time than a boring person would ask you in five years. It’s a gift really, to be so comfortable with yourself that you’re able to center someone else’s experience as the most interesting thing in the room, instead of your own. Interesting people are equally as curious in their own life, tinkering with radios, learning about new religions, taking up woodworking, investigating physics…just because. 

So then how do we become more interesting? Yes, we can ask more questions and be more curious. [Side note: if you’re reading this letter you’re already one of those people. And perhaps this can serve as a gentle reminder to ask the people you’re with today, tonight or this weekend more thoughtful questions]

However, if I revisit the moment in time when I asked myself, “Am I boring?”…what was going on – really going on – was that I had flattened my interests. In my early twenties, at one of my very first networking events, someone asked me, “So what do you do for fun?” The panic of that moment has stayed with me all these years later. When I’m feeling either bored or boring, I’m not making much time for learning…for being curious…for trying new things. 

This year has welcomed a version of myself that I find interesting. Sure, I’ll riff on writing books of all genres for as long as you’ll let me. And don’t get me started on geeking out over a beautiful turn of words. But I’ve also made time for other things that bring my life into 3D – like taking a pottery class (I had a REAL attitude problem but that’s a story for another letter). Like getting my motorcycle license. Determining a path forward for re-learning a language I used to know. Planning out when and where I’m going to learn how to fly fish. Taking a cinnamon roll cooking class (because why not). I don’t care if the general public finds me interesting, that’s not why I’m doing these things. I care about being more interested in LIFE, in refusing to let it be monotonous, tedious, or gray. I don’t want to stay the same.

When we’re interested in life, there’s no such thing as being bored, or feeling boring. If you’re feeling either, I’ll play like Mama McCoy and give you a long list of chores, but those chores will be simple: Try new things. Find out what you’re interested in. Have an attitude problem at your pottery class. 

I promise it’ll bring you back to feeling alive in your own life, and feeling oh, so very interesting.