Celebrate it Before They Validate it

I recently finished a 9-hour read aloud of a 90,000 word novel that I’ve been working on for almost two years. The journey has been interesting, utterly gratifying, maddening, difficult, blissful and so, so fun.

In 2021, I wrote the first half of this book…and my agent asked for a rewrite. ouch.

So, I went back to the drawing board. All the way back down to the outline. And I rewrote that book at a much slower speed than the first half, because well…Life. AND, I was writing two other books at the time. To write this book, I’ve been writing and editing and researching and editing and writing and researching in stolen blocks of hours when I can.

Then late last year, three beta readers got their hands on the manuscript and tore into it in all the best ways. I’ve spent the last 3 months reworking all of their feedback. It’s been surgical, but it’s made for a way better book.

The very fun thing about writing a novel is that it doesn’t sell (read: make you any money) until after you’ve written it. And while I’d be lying if I said that I don’t care either way what happens, I’ve also released attachment. When you’ve left it all out on the court, as my old volleyball coaches used to say, whatever happens will happen. I know I’ve done my best.

The story I’ve written definitely makes it into the top 5 of creative feats I’m the most proud of. Mainly because I learned an entirely new craft and got way, way better at it than I was this time a year ago. Or this time two years ago. Or this time 5 years ago when I took my first fiction writing workshop.

And yet, when friends and strangers alike responded on Instagram recently [to a video of my manuscript printing out for one last read before sending to my agent]…I found myself wanting to respond to their celebrations with…

Can’t count our chickens before they hatch!
Nothing to be excited about yet…
We’ll see if it was enough to warrant celebration…
Hopefully we have something to celebrate this summer!

I was mid-typing the last sentiment when I stopped myself. I put my phone down. And thought: What in the actual fuck max? THIS MOMENT IS SO WORTH CELEBRATING.

I don’t need my agent to cheer for me before I celebrate this moment. I don’t need editors to purchase it before I celebrate it. I don’t need readers buying it at bookstores before I celebrate what I’ve done.

Turns out, I can celebrate it before they validate it. I’m allowed to do that. I deserve that.

And so do you.

How often do you wait for someone else to see what you’ve done before you feel worthy of the celebration?

Like when you’re feeling really good about a presentation you worked on for weeks …but you want to wait and see what your boss thinks.

Or when you totally dig a fun reel you put together on instagram…but you want to see how many likes it gets.

When you put together a new offering for your business…but you want to wait and see how it sells.

Or an epic trip you planned…but only if it all goes according to plan.

Or a nomination you got for something really cool…but you’ll wait until you actually get it to feel good.

We do this all the time. In all types of ways. Across all parts of our lives. We don’t feel worthy of the celebration right then and there, until it gets validated by someone else.

What would you do differently if you validated what you’ve done…right now? How far you’ve come, the progress you’ve made, the risks you took. What would you be celebrating?

I dare you to go ahead and give yourself that moment. Your validation is what matters most. When you do that, everyone else’s will be purely bonus.