Can you be happy with what you have?

Making it was once described to me as chasing a carrot that's forever dangling just a foot away from your face. You'll never grasp it. But you'll sacrifice everything in the present moment to get to it...and yet you never will. I often think of achievement from that vantage point. It's like an ever-evaporating horizon line that always seems to be there until you've arrived, only to find that it has vanished again.

I've made these mistakes a few times over. I've convinced myself that everything would feel better once I got that gig. I've told myself I'll know I've made it when I see a stranger out in public reading my book. I've said that if I get to a certain fitness level I'll feel comfortable in my skin. 

I treated dreams as doorways to a better version of myself. 

But they're not doorways at all. You are the same person on this side of an achievement as you are on the other side of it. Success won't fix you, change you, or make you. If you expect that, you can basically guarantee that you'll be let down and dampened with disregard. 

I feel very fortunate to have figured this out early on, and not because I did anything better. And not because I'm wiser. But because I had the good fortune of a perfect storm of events, of achievements, to understand that on both sides – before and after – I'm the exact same person. However, believing that the realized dream brings happiness, actually delivers the exact opposite. 

From that lived experience, I surmised there's got to be a different way. Most religions practice it. The wise elders have it down. Happiness researchers have the hang of it. Meditators grasp it. And that's the simple counterintuitive question of what will bring me joy today? How can I give myself a happy hour, a happy afternoon, a happy day? 

The answers are small. They're simple. They're feasible. They're in-tune with reality. And they don't ask you to leverage all your happiness for a “one day,” which you have absolutely no control over. 

Sure, you can still plan for the future. Yes, you should always consider long-term consequences to your actions. And no, living in the moment is not an excuse to YOLO your life into debt or destruction. 

Rather, asking what will bring me joy today? allows you to live this day like it's your whole life. Because it might be. Because no one and nothing are guaranteed. It forces us to choose simply, to choose differently, and to choose intention. 

When I ask myself this question, the answers are so easy. They're so clear. They don't require a vision for my life. They don't require confidence. They don't require change or attainment. They don't even require me to already be happy to benefit. They just require that I find simple ways to have an incrementally better day by not going with the motions, and instead choosing the brushstrokes that will ultimately influence the canvas of my life. 

Choose joy. Choose small. Choose now. 

Woman on xx 

PS. Finding confidence in the “right now” moments – that they are in fact leading you somewhere – is a practice. If you’re feeling a pull to figure out what’s bigger than you that you want to put your efforts and your energy toward…I’ve opened my You’re Not Lost LIVE course back up. If you have any questions about it, reply to this email and get in touch!