Are you letting uncertainty stop you?

I don’t believe that the mother of all fear is anything specific (like death or disease). I think the real mother of all fears is the unknown. I’ve been examining my relationship with it lately, and wow. Upon reflection, I’ve noticed a very clear trend…that the situations I’m the most proud of, the ones that turned out the best, were born from wading through the rapids of the unknown.

We humans hate the unknown. There’s something known as the status quo bias that shows this. Turns out, when given the choice...more people will pick to keep things exactly as they are (even if they’re suffering!!!) rather than risk experiencing something that’s not guaranteed.

What??

But before I judge said strangers from this study, I know this status quo bias has showed up in my own life. Staying in relationships, in cities, in apartments, in jobs that didn’t totally light me up because I didn’t want to risk it. At least what I had, I knew.

You might favor familiarity, but it is worth asking the question...is it of favor to you? Is it growing you, changing you and evolving you? Or is it making you stuck, totally miserable and sick of yourself (or just…sick)?

You probably know the answer to that already, but you stop yourself from making change because what if?

What if it doesn’t work out?

What if it all goes south?

What if you hate it?

What if you have to ask for help?

What if you disappoint someone?

Out of every possible option available to you in life, somehow you can’t help but obsess over the five exact worse ways it could go wrong. And by you I also mean me.

You see the energy wasted there right? That in worrying and stressing about shit going south, we miss out on trusting ourselves to move forward no matter what.

What would happen if you chose to see something else…something bright, and loving, and exciting, and possible? What if the only thing that clouded your mind when you thought of making a change were the dreamy possibilities that could happen once you act? Or the trust and self love you’d build even if things got hard.

Possibilities are out there beyond the unknown, like true love. Adventure. New experiences. More money. Different skills. Happier outlooks. Dreams come true.

What about those possibilities? Where have you been ignoring the beautiful in your obsession with the bleak?

I don’t know about you, but focusing on the dreamy possibilities makes my day WAY better. Not to mention my chest feels a little bit more open. I smile more. I worry less. My cynicism dies down. I’m a pleasure to be around. I laugh constantly. That’s what’s possible when you believe anything positive is possible...which it is.

I say this from a place of positively not nailing it. I took on some big unknowns in the last year. Once they became real, I sorta freaked out. My nervous system flashed every warning sign that there could be danger here. Because hiiii, here where it's super uncomfortable and unpredictable, everything I don't want can come true. Ugh.

But then I heard this quote, “The unknown has never let me down.” And I gave a little cry which was part laugh – laughter at how haywire my brain had gone trying to predict and protect from all the missteps that might come true. But when I look back on my life, the things that worked out in all the absolute best ways were the same ones when I jumped willingly (and dramatically) into the unknown. They were uncomfortable at first, sure. AND…they gave way to energy that created beautiful, life-altering opportunities.

I don’t know about you, but I’m seeking a lifetime of more of that new new. That aliveness. That making the most of every week, day and year because I can. I don’t need more of the same comforts that keep me small.

The unknown won’t let you down. Make sure you don’t either.